Hello Metagame people, I'm Mr.B, you might remember me from other articles like Commander – Deckbuilding Guide or the introductory article to this Pauper series. Today I'm here to talk about the format's ugliest tier 1 deck and why I love (or hate, depending on the moment) it: Affinity Glitters.
The deck was born last summer when the Wizzy guys ran out of chicory to smoke, but since they were still high, they printed All That Glitters at common rarity.
In short, us poor spikes smelled blood and started churning out list after list until the deck became a true format powerhouse.
Initially, lists were primarily mana 
, then, since beating with a 5/7 Ornithopter on turn 2 wasn't enough, they decided to throw in red to finish by blasting Galvanic Blast to the gums.
Of course, not all that glitters is gold (after that dad joke, I'm going to hide under a bridge), because although the deck is a bomb capable of winning consistently on turn 3 or 4, if it goes badly or if the opponent kills our targeted creature with All That Glitters at the right moment, we cry hard and can curl up in a fetal position waiting for a miracle topdeck or the next game.
Now you'll ask me: "But Mr.B, why don't we play All That Glitters in Bogles? That deck has hexproof creatures, they can't kill them with removal."
My dears, how can I say... Bogles sucks! There are at least two readily maindeckable and maindecked edicts in the format that circle around hexproof like a shark around a chunk of tuna in the middle of the ocean. All tier decks with black play at least one of these edicts maindeck plus those in the sideboard, so trust me: forget Bogles, Affinity Glitters is the way.
Several versions of this deck currently exist: the first to emerge was the Azorius Affinity version, followed by Jeskai Affinity.
Azorius Affinity The lists are more or less like this:
Chronologically, this is the one that started appearing first. This version is very explosive and can threaten wins as early as turn 3, so potent that it makes opponents reflect on their life choices. As John McClane said while riding a 10/12 Ornithopter: "Yippee ki yay!"
The deck's manabase is ugly, but much less so than other decks, being quite solid and light at the same time and playing only 4 taplands (I can already hear Modern players chuckling, but think about your Triomes and surveil lands and shut up).
The deck is quite simple to play: we deploy a lot of threats and try to put All That Glitters on an Ornithopter or a Gingerbrute as soon as the opponent gives us a small opening, since instant-speed removals are very problematic for us.
To have a constant flow of threats, we play 15 draw spells, 7 of which are "draw 2" for one blue mana, plus 4 Thraben Inspector that draw with the Clue token and 4 Moon-Circuit Hacker, which are more obvious than the problems coming when your partner texts you: "We need to talk," if we attack with a 0/2 Ornithopter.
But the deck is full of topdecks that make you want to eat that expired yogurt in your fridge — yes, the one hidden in a corner with a March 2022 expiration date that you don't dare throw away because you fear a new civilization has been born inside it. That's why we need extra draws to find the relevant pieces.
To protect our threats and our All That Glitters, we also play 3 or 4 Metallic Rebuke, depending on the list (which in our dreams are 1-mana Mana Leaks, but in reality, I won't spoil how average they are).
With the release of Murders at Karlov Manor, players started adding Novice Inspector instead of Faerie Seer, which, if seen in the mid/late game, are terrible topdecks in most cases.
Jeskai Affinity
Now let's move on to the chad version of the deck:
Alvisi's list is so square it looks like it was made by someone from Reggio Emilia: practically only playsets in both maindeck and sideboard.
Like the Azorius Affinity version, it's super explosive, but it has the bonus of being able to close out games with burn (which happens to me quite often). At the same time, because we're chads, we also throw in an Experimental Synthesizer + Glint Hawk engine to grind more (because we have nothing to hide, unlike those who play Ninjas).
A single Experimental Synthesizer paired with a Hawk can easily let us see four more cards in a game, but we can't play it like monkeys with no hands and slam it blindly onto the table.
How to play Synthesizer 101
I'll make a small digression on Synth because I've seen "land, Experimental Synthesizer, exile another land or an uncastable spell, then pass" too many times and I'm tired of bleeding from my eyes. With a few simple tips, you can improve your games (and these tips apply to any deck that plays Experimental Synthesizer):
- Avoid playing spells in the deck that, when exiled by Synth, do nothing if we don't have a board or if they need specific targets to work. For this reason, if I play Synth, I don't want Counterspell in the deck or reactive spells like Blacksmith’s Skill. Pyroblast and Red Elemental Blast are more acceptable because they can have targets on the field. In any case, when I add these types of spells from the side, I tend to side out Synth.
- Play Experimental Synthesizer before making your land drop, so you can play any land exiled by Synth without reducing the number of cards in hand.
- Only play Synth if you can cast any spell you're going to exile. Example: if I play Synth and exile All That Glitters but I don't have two mana or a creature on the field, it will be a wasted spell. I therefore recommend saving Synth for when the game starts to become a grind, say from turn 4 onwards.
Now that I've explained how to get hot water from cold water and a stove, let's continue.
Unlike the Azorius Affinity version, Jeskai Affinity doesn't play counters, so we're pants down and buttocks clenched for the entire game. We have to make the opponent waste removals on relatively useless pieces and, even once All That Glitters hits the field, we have to close out the game quickly.
The "difficult" part of the deck is understanding when to hit the gas — even making risky Synths or aggressive Glint Hawks — and when to bide our time and wait for the opportunity to one-shot the opponent who left us an opening.
Our manabase is amazing (in the worst sense of the word): we want to aggro like crazy but we play 7-8 taplands. Not even in my wildest lysergic dreams would I have expected something like this, but what can I say... it works, so let's keep going!
What gives the deck consistency is the Experimental Synthesizer + Glint Hawk combo, which allows us to come back in games we've already lost. So, beware of conceding too early: the deck can pull 10-12 quick, unblockable damage out of nowhere.
Alternative lists
Since opponents haven't been idle, the Jeskai Affinity list has had to evolve in recent months. Some players have started cutting Thraben Inspector and Ornithopter in favor of Ardent Recruit (who doesn't like a 3/3 for 1 that survives Drown in Sorrow or Fiery Cannonade?) and a playset of Wrenn’s Resolve (or Reckless Impulse, which is practically the same card) to keep the number of draw spells in the deck high, as you can see from this beautiful list by Walker735.
Other players have taken the Azorius Affinity version and splashed Galvanic Blast into it, keeping the package of Ninjas, counters, and blue draw spells, as in this list by V0dka (which is almost identical to the one played by Mengu in one of his latest videos on the deck).
In summary: you can try to mess up the deck as much as you like, but it remains absurdly strong.
Strategy
The deck is pure hard aggro: we want to try to close out the game as quickly as possible, without giving the opponent time to find answers to our threats. All That Glitters gives us a lot of free wins against other slower decks, while it can also contend with decks that play many instant-speed removals like Lightning Bolt and Defile, even if it's difficult.
Playing a lot of X/1s and X/2s, a well-timed Drown in Sorrow or Fiery Cannonade makes us cry hard and wipes our entire board. Despite this, we have the ability to close out of nowhere with a Gingerbrute or a Galvanic Blast (in the Jeskai version).
If things go really badly, we also have a plan B, which consists of flooding the board with low-cost (thanks to Affinity) or evasive threats (again, in the Jeskai version) and aggroing that way, but it's kind of our last resort, even if Myr Enforcers are nice and chunky as 4/4s for 0 mana.
When you open an average hand, don't be afraid to mulligan it. Having a good mix of spells and lands doesn't always make the hand keepable if all we do is play Ornithopter and Springleaf Drum while the opponent keeps open for counters or removal.
I may be the last of the morons, but I advise you to mulligan aggressively for hands that actually do something. The best way to lose is to keep hands without threats or without All That Glitters and give the opponent time to develop their game while keeping open for removal or counters.
The perfect mix for me is a couple of lands, 1-2 draw spells, an All That Glitters, and evasive threats to attack for 5 or 6 damage as early as turn 2 (but I live in Magic Christmasland).
Given the high number of draw spells, a mulligan to 5 can be recovered without major problems, or even better: the opponent can already be dead before the card count starts to hurt.
Having many low-cost and low-impact cards like Ornithopter, Faerie Seer, or Springleaf Drum, the deck also has a lot of terrible topdecks. We want to see all these cards early in the match; if they arrive after turn 4, they are horrible and only serve to increase our chronic depression or a creature pumped with All That Glitters.
In the Jeskai version, it's super important to think carefully about when to make an aggressive Glint Hawk or Experimental Synthesizer, and when to hold them in hand to grind better in the late game.
Post-sideboard, things get tough: our opponents will bring in instant removals, artifact removals like Dust to Dust or Cast into the Fire, while we have several options — counters or protections — though our best weapon remains speed. We are the aggressors in all matchups: an opponent cannot find answers to our threats if they are already dead.
However, it's always better to cover your backside a bit. As you can see from the previous lists, players mainly adopt two sideboard strategies: including counters (especially in the UW version) or creatures that grant protection from black and red to bypass instant removals, although they can do little against removals of other colors like Deglamer or Destroy Evil.
Matchups
As mentioned before, the deck has beautiful matchups that we would always want to find like 50€ on the sidewalk, and matchups that we only win if the opponent has a heart attack mid-G1 and has to drop from the tournament.
In reality, even the worst matchups can be stolen with starts that make "Leclerc move aside," but the stars still need to align to bring it home.
Let's start with the good ones.
All non-interactive decks or those that rely mostly on sorcery-speed removals are our bread and butter: Altar Tron, Defender Combo, Goblin Combo are matchups where only a long series of unfortunate events can stop us.
Mono Black Burn is also an excellent matchup because we are much faster and it plays practically no maindeck creature removals. Dredge suffers from the same problem.
We are happy to see Mono U Faeries and we are also doing quite well against Mono U Terror, as long as we can play around counters and dodge bounce spells, but this is already a matchup that approaches 50-50.
More or less, we're also in a good spot against Caw Gates, since its fogs don't stop our artifact creatures and it plays almost exclusively sorcery-speed removals, even though it remains a balanced matchup.
With Jeskai Ephemerate, we're almost 50-50: if they start slow and we start fast, we massacre them before they can react, but that deck has many weapons against us, from Skred to Breath Weapon and even Destroy Evil.
Let's move on to the sore points.
BG Gardens and Mono R Kuldotha are among the worst matchups. Both have 1-mana instant removals to cast in response to All That Glitters. Gardens keeps killing anything that touches the field, while Mono R gets around us with its tokens and takes us down quickly.
Post-side, things get even worse against Mono R, which brings in Smash to Smithereens or Cast into the Fire, while Golgari often doesn't even need to side in cards given the amount of removal it already plays.
Other bad matchups are against decks that play 8+ Lightning Bolt or Galvanic Blast, like Rakdos Madness or Boros Synth.
We're not doing great against UB Faeries and Izzet Control either, given the presence of instant removals, counters, and wrath effects like -2/-2 or 2 damage to everything. Murmuring Mystic is a real agony to face.
It's also why we suffer greatly against UWx Familiars.
Surprisingly, we're also poorly positioned against Elves, which is very fast and floods the board with too many green creatures to manage.
Sideboard
Graveyard Hate
Against graveyard-based decks, we can include Relic of Progenitus or Tormod's Crypt. Being artifacts, they help All That Glitters and slow down decks like Dredge or Terror.
Acolytes and company
By playing white for All That Glitters, we have two excellent options against red and black: Crimson Acolyte and Obsidian Acolyte.
Crimson Acolyte against Mono R is almost GG. Obsidian Acolyte against Mono B or BG Gardens is excellent, although it can be removed by wraths or edicts.
Standard Bearer also falls into this category, being very strong in the mirror or against Caw Gates.
Protections and reactive spells
This opens up a world of possibilities. The most played counters are:
- Dispel
- Turn Aside
- Negate
- Spell Pierce
Blasts are also excellent:
- Blue Elemental Blast
- Hydroblast
- Red Elemental Blast
- Pyroblast
Other options include Blacksmith’s Skill, Annul, Steel Sabotage, and the tech Saiba Cryptomancer.
Removals
We can use Destroy Evil or Journey to Nowhere for big creatures.
Against creature swarms:
- End the Festivities
- Tectonic Hazard
- Electrickery
Jeskai or Boros versions can also play Krark-Clan Shaman or Seal of Fire.
Artifact Hate
The star here is Dust to Dust. Valid alternatives: Cast into the Fire, Revoke Existence, and Gorilla Shaman.
If anyone has anything to say because there's Return to Dust art that isn't even legal in the format, mind your own business: Dust to Dust art is ugly and I'm a Wayne Reynolds fanboy.
Well, that's the deck. If you want to try Pauper and have about sixty euros to spare, Glitter Affinity is an atomic bomb: a magnificent glass cannon that keeps flipping tables.
When it works, no one can keep up with you, not even Mono R, and it provides an impressive number of free wins.
The beauty is that it's highly customizable. If you like to concede after a Counterspell, you can try Fling to throw the creature pumped with All That Glitters in your opponent's face.
If you don't play many evasive threats, you can add Wedding Invitation or Auriok Sunchaser.
Some lists play Vault Skirge for lifegain and additional evasive targets for All That Glitters (I'm looking at you, Mono R).
There are even some crazy people who play it full Boros without Thoughtcast.
In short: sell that Sheoldred, the Apocalypse you don't need anyway and dive into Pauper.
Stay tuned for more ramblings about Pauper decks, and if I've titillated you in strange places (strictly Moige-approved), pop over to the forum to discuss your favorite decks or ones you'd like to build with us.
